You are useful at the breast
You do not need milk to be necessary. The breastfeeding page for partners is a list of jobs with your name on them.
If it is going badly, you do not become the expert from a video. You help her get a real one. Midwife, child and family health nurse, GP, and through them a lactation consultant.
Go to the appointment if work allows. You can also call the Australian Breastfeeding Association on 1800 686 268, or use their live chat. Say we, not you should.
With the right help, most women can get through problems and make the milk the baby needs. Encouragement is not a postcard. It is you backing the next appointment instead of suggesting formula at 2am because you are scared.
If formula is the actual plan, that is a different conversation, made together, not a panic.
Closeness is still yours. A sling or carrier, a plain hold, skin to skin, a bath, a massage, a walk between feeds. Settling may even be easier for you.
A fussy baby smells milk on her and starts searching. Your chest is not a restaurant, so the baby can calm instead of hunt. Use that.
Burp. Nappy after a feed. Those are finishes she does not have to do with one hand.
Night is where you either become a father or a reviewer. Bring the baby to her in bed for the feed. Settle the baby back if that is what is needed.
Even some nights, or some feeds, is described as a big help. You do not have to win the whole week. You have to take a defined piece so she sleeps in a block.
Around the feed, be furniture that works. Water in reach. A snack that is food.
A pillow. Other children, visitors and pets entertained somewhere that is not her shoulder. Evenings are often the cluster, so be home for cooking and washing if you can.
Say, in front of your family, that she is doing the feed and she is doing it well. Opinionated relatives fold faster if you do not leave her to fight them.
Sex can wait. The page tells you to be patient. She is tired from feeding, carrying and settling all day. Pushing is not support.
And if breastfeeding does not work, your line is that it is all right. Not a postmortem. Not a story you tell at work about how hard she tried.
The baby needs feeding and she needs to still be in the room with you. Method is not a moral rank. Help is.
Source: Raising Children Network