When you actually leave
The due date is a rumour. Very few babies turn up on it. Your job is to know which signs mean phone, and which signs mean stay home and stop refreshing the contraction app.
A baby born after 37 weeks is called term. Before that, 36 weeks and 6 days or earlier, is premature. If you think labour is starting early, you call the midwife, doctor or hospital as soon as you suspect it.
You do not see if it settles through another episode. If you get to 41 weeks with no labour, worry is the wrong setting. Checks become more frequent so someone can see you are both well, and you talk about what to do if the baby is overdue.
Signs that labour is on the way, not necessarily tonight, include a show, more pressure as the head sits lower, cramps like a period, more Braxton Hicks, and the waters going, either a leak or a gush. Waters breaking means you phone the hospital or the midwife even if the movie is still on.
Labour proper, on this page, is contractions that last a minute or more, come at regular gaps, and get stronger, longer and more frequent. One or more of those, and you call straight away. If you are booked at a hospital or birth centre, the midwives say when to come in.
They do not need you to guess. A homebirth means the midwife comes to you.
First stage starts milder than films suggest. Short, irregular contractions can wander in and out for hours or days, or she may barely feel the early ones. They build.
They soften and open the cervix. Around 5 cm is what the page calls established labour. A midwife may check with an internal exam.
Once established, the pushing stage often begins within 8 to 12 hours, and a first pregnancy often takes longer. Do not quote that number at her as a deadline. It is a range, and ranges lie.
Second stage is full dilation, about 10 cm, and the urge to push. Contractions get longer and fierce. She pushes with them and rests between.
Near the end she may need to ease off so the head comes slowly. If things are well, the baby can go onto her chest straight away. This stage usually takes up to 2 hours.
It is tiring. Your support is not optional colour. A clinician should be there constantly, and so should you, unless you are taking a break they know about.
Third stage is the placenta. Contractions continue, less savage. She may be offered an oxytocin injection to help the placenta and to cut bleeding. Often 20 to 30 minutes, sometimes up to an hour.
Skin to skin, if both are well, for an hour or more soon after birth, is not a photo idea. It calms the baby, keeps them warm, passes protective bacteria, and helps feeding. It also helps her bond. You protect that hour from visitors.
A vaginal birth is described as usually the safest route, and you should still know what a caesarean is, because plans change. Placenta praevia can mean a planned one. Trouble in pregnancy or labour can mean an unplanned one.
Talk options with the midwife before you need them at speed. Your calm on the phone, and your willingness to follow their when to come in, is the skill.
Source: Raising Children Network