Bed is a routine, not a fight
A toddler who will not stay in bed is not a mystery. They are a person with a new set of skills and a strong wish for you to stay.
Raising Children puts the sleep need at 11 to 14 hours in a day. Usually that breaks into 10 to 12 hours at night and a nap of 1 to 2 hours. Enough sleep is tied to mood, growth, learning, and a stronger chance against illness.
You will feel the difference on the day they miss it. So will they.
A sample clock on the page is wake at 7, nap at 1 for no more than 2 hours, up by 3, into bed at 7. 30. Treat the sample as a shape, not a law.
If the nap runs long or starts late, bedtime slides and then everyone is angry at 9. Catch tired signs early. Rubbing eyes, getting silly, getting mean.
Bed before the crash, not after.
Many toddlers are ready somewhere between 6. 30 and 7. 30, depending on when the morning started.
The routine stays put on the weekend. A Saturday exception becomes the new bedtime by Monday. Keep it short enough that you will actually do it.
Teeth, nappy, one book or a story, goodnight. The page's example is that sort of sequence, a few minutes apart, not a concert.
Settling trouble and night waking are common, and they are described as part of development. They are growing, learning skills, testing the edge, wanting to be independent and also wanting you. Understanding that does not put them to sleep.
It stops you taking the protest as a personal failure. The tools named are the schedule, the tired signs, and a routine that is the same.
Bottles of milk in the bed or overnight are questioned on the page. If that is still your method, talk to the child health nurse rather than defending it. I am not going to invent a weaning plan the excerpt did not spell out. Ask.
You can do the routine. Same words, same order, lights down, you leave. If you stay until they sleep every night, you have taught them that the routine ends when you are still in the room.
Change it in small steps if you need to, and tell her the plan so you are not undoing each other at the door. One parent, one bedtime, the other gets a different chore. Fair is not both of you losing.
Source: Raising Children Network