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Toolkits
Toolkits

Enough to start.The rest is yours.

Fifty toolkits, from the positive test to the end of the toddler years. The first lines are free. Put your email in to open the rest.

Pregnancy

Free · Pregnancy

When she tells you

You do not have to feel one clean thing. If you are waiting on a scan before you celebrate, say that, or she will hear your quiet as a no.

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Free · Pregnancy

The stress you think she cannot see

If money, work or the sheer amount to learn is sitting on your chest, say the actual thing. A drink or a cigarette as the pressure valve makes the next argument worse, not smaller.

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Free · Pregnancy

When flat lasts past a fortnight

Feeling flat, down or snappy in pregnancy is common for fathers. If it lasts more than two weeks and it is wrecking ordinary days, that can be antenatal depression, and the first call is your GP.

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Free · Pregnancy

Go to the appointments

The first move after a positive test is a GP visit, not a cot. Write her questions down between visits or they vanish in the waiting room.

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Free · Pregnancy

The scans, and the bloods

Expect at least two routine ultrasounds, around 11 to 13 weeks and again around 18 to 20. You do not have to pretend a result is nothing if the room goes quiet.

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Free · Pregnancy

When food will not stay down

Morning sickness is not only mornings, and it is common. If she cannot keep food or fluid down, or there is blood in the vomit, she needs a midwife or doctor now, not a cracker strategy.

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Free · Pregnancy

If the kicks change

From 24 weeks, a quiet baby for a few hours while she is awake is a phone call, not a wait until morning. Movements do not politely stop because labour is near.

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Free · Pregnancy

Her walk, not a boot camp

If the pregnancy is uncomplicated, the target on the page is at least two and a half hours of moderate movement a week. You can take the long way with her, and you do not sign her up for a contact sport.

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Free · Pregnancy

No safe round

If you are trying, or she is pregnant, the safest line is no alcohol for her. There is no safe level in pregnancy, and some drinks labelled zero still have a little in them, so read the label.

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Free · Pregnancy

Smoke and vape, including yours

If you smoke or vape, the baby still gets it from what you breathe out and from what sits on your clothes. Quitline is 137 848, and until you stop, do it outside, never in the car, and wash up after.

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Free · Pregnancy

The trolley is your job

You can still buy the food she is not allergic to, including peanuts and eggs. The traps are chilled ready-to-eat food, soft cheese, raw egg, undercooked meat, and fish like swordfish, flake and marlin.

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Free · Pregnancy

When you do not wait

Less movement, a blow to her belly, heavy pain, bleeding, a headache that will not quit, sudden swelling or blurred vision means you call the midwife, doctor or hospital now. healthdirect is 1800 022 222, and if it is an emergency, call 000.

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Free · Pregnancy

Book the class before it fills

Antenatal classes are for you as well, not a women-only club you drop her at. Go, ask the dumb question, and book early because the useful ones fill.

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Free · Pregnancy

Your half of the bag

Pack around 32 weeks, not when the contractions are already timing themselves. Your bits are snacks, clothes, a charger, petrol, the night entrance, and a rear-facing car seat for the trip home.

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Free · Pregnancy

What she wants from you in the room

Ask now whether she wants encouragement, silence, a hand, or a count of breaths. If a midwife suggests something unplanned and it is not an emergency, you ask for a moment so she can consent.

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Free · Pregnancy

Say the jobs out loud

Before the baby, agree who does baths, nights, cooking and bills, and what going back to work means. If you are arguing more, dodging the talk, or feeling cut off, get help while you can still finish a sentence.

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Birth

Free · Birth

When you actually leave

Call for contractions that last a minute or more, come regularly, and are getting stronger and closer. If it might be labour before 37 weeks, or the waters go, call even if contractions have not started.

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Free · Birth

Pain relief, said in advance

Ask in pregnancy, not between contractions, what this hospital actually offers. Breathing, heat, massage, water, movement and a TENS machine sit next to gas, morphine and an epidural, and birth centre lists are shorter.

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Free · Birth

Who is allowed in the room

Continuous, calm support helps labour along and makes interventions less likely, while a crowd can slow it. Ask how many people the room allows, because two is often the comfortable maximum, and your food is your problem.

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Free · Birth

If it becomes a caesarean

The cut is about 10 cm, and once the anaesthetic is working she may feel tugging, not pain. You can usually stay for a spinal or epidural, you ask if she cannot, and skin to skin can still happen, including on you.

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Free · Birth

Planned or unplanned

A planned caesarean can be for a medical reason, a sign that vaginal birth looks risky, or a personal choice. An unplanned one is for a problem in labour, and neither needs your hot take in the corridor.

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Free · Birth

The first hour is not for visitors

If she and the baby are well, skin to skin with her in that first hour helps warmth, heart rate, breathing, blood sugar, protective bacteria, bonding and feeding. Your hand on the baby is enough, so tell the family to wait.

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Newborn

Free · Newborn

Week one is smaller than you think

A healthy baby born at 37 weeks or later feeds on their cues, often every 2 to 3 hours, around 8 to 12 times a day. Your job is warmth, nappies, and telling someone if the face looks yellow or the cord stump goes red or sticky.

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Free · Newborn

Back, firm, clear, smoke-free

On the back, on a firm flat level mattress, face uncovered, with no pillow, doona or hat. A car seat is for the car, and if you smoke the risk stays even when you smoke outside, so Quitline is 137 848.

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Free · Newborn

Same room, own surface

Room-sharing on a separate safe surface for the first year, or at least six months, is linked with about half the SUDI risk. That is not the same as having the baby in your bed.

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Free · Newborn

The cry, then your hands

Run the list: hungry, wants to suck, upset, tired, wet, too hot, or sick, and never shake a baby. If you are at the edge, put them down somewhere safe and walk out until you can come back.

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Free · Newborn

There is no schedule yet

In the early months, follow the baby, not a clock you found online. At night, feed and straight back down beats a play session, and if you are angry, five minutes out of the room is a legitimate tool.

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Free · Newborn

Yellow skin is a phone call

Yellow skin or eyes, a sleepy baby, a poor feed: get a nurse, midwife or doctor to look. Do not decide it is the mild kind because a relative had it.

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Free · Newborn

The bath is a two-hand job

Water at 37 to 38 degrees, and the baby is never left, not even for the phone. Cold flush the tap if you use a sink, empty it when you are done, because they can drown in a few seconds of shallow water.

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Free · Newborn

You are useful at the breast

Bring water, a snack and the baby, then take the baby back. You can settle better than she can sometimes because you do not smell of milk, and the breastfeeding helpline is 1800 686 268.

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Free · Newborn

Formula without the fairy dust

Ordinary cow's milk is not a baby milk until after 12 months. Stage 1 can be used through the first year, and the dearer tin is not the safer one.

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Free · Newborn

Leave the stump alone

Fold the nappy down so the stump can dry, and do not pull it off. If it is still there after two weeks, or the skin is red, hot, smelly or tender, see the GP or child health nurse.

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Free · Newborn

A hot baby under three months

From birth to three months, a fever is immediate care, GP or emergency, and you do not wait out the night. Do not give aspirin, and ibuprofen is not for babies under three months.

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Free · Newborn

Awake on the belly, asleep on the back

Start tummy time soon after birth, while they are awake, one to two minutes at first, building toward 10 to 15 minutes several times a day. The moment they sleep, they go onto their back.

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First year

Free · First year

Food starts small

Not before 4 months, and around 6 months if they can sit with support, hold their head, and open for the spoon. Start with 1 to 2 teaspoons once a day, after a milk feed, not instead of it.

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Free · First year

The night will not match the chart

At 2 to 3 months, many babies still sleep 14 to 17 hours in a day, in short cycles, and wake between them. By the first birthday, 11 to 14 hours is a common total, and a content baby who is awake is not a baby you must knock out.

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Free · First year

Gums, then a toothbrush

Teeth often arrive between 6 and 10 months, sometimes from 3 months and sometimes near 12, and a fever or diarrhoea is not something you blame on a tooth. If they are unwell, see a GP, and clean the first tooth with water only until 18 months unless a dentist says otherwise.

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Free · First year

Hold them for the needles

Birth is a hepatitis B injection, and around 6 to 8 weeks there are two injections plus a rotavirus dose they swallow. You can be the chest they cry on, and you write the date before you leave the clinic.

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Free · First year

When they will not let you leave

Clinging from about 6 or 7 months is common, and it often peaks around 14 to 18 months. Say you are going and say you will be back, because sneaking out makes the next goodbye worse.

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Free · First year

The house is not ready

Supervision beats a cupboard lock, because they will still fall, and next month they will climb to a hazard you fixed last month. Keep them away from hot drinks, heaters and the bath you forgot to empty.

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Free · First year

Under two, the screen stays off

Current guidelines, as Raising Children states them, say children under 2 do not have screen time except video chat. A parked baby in front of your phone is the thing the line is about.

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Free · First year

Smaller than a 20 cent coin

If it is smaller than a 20 cent coin, it can block an airway, so they sit to eat and you sit with them. Whole nuts wait until 4, and grapes and sausages get cut lengthways into quarters.

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Free · First year

Rear facing, fitted, before you need it

From birth to at least 6 months they must be in a rear-facing seat with an inbuilt harness, and that is the legal minimum, not a suggestion. Fit it before the birth, because capsules are outgrown fast and hiring one is a normal plan.

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Free · First year

Arm's reach of the water

If they are near water, you are within arm's reach, including the bath, because drowning is quiet. Under fives die in pools, baths, buckets and dams, so empty the bath, and a swimming lesson does not replace you.

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Toddler

Free · Toddler

The tantrum is not a debate

Tantrums are common from 1 to 3, so keep them safe, name the feeling in a low voice, and stay close. Do not argue with a child who has left the building, and do not shop when they are hungry and tired.

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Free · Toddler

Pants when they are ready

Dry for two hours or more, and able to pull pants up and down, is a readiness sign, not a birthday. Daytime undies or training pants, a nappy still for naps and night, and no fuss if the floor loses.

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Free · Toddler

They will not eat the dinner

Fussy eating is common, and it is often them practising being a separate person. You put the food out and they decide how much, about 20 minutes, then the plate goes without a speech, and you never force a mouthful.

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Free · Toddler

Bed is a routine, not a fight

Most toddlers need 11 to 14 hours, usually 10 to 12 at night plus a nap of 1 to 2 hours. A late long nap steals bedtime, so keep the same short routine on Saturday as on Tuesday.

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Free · Toddler

The bite, then the boring no

Say no, move the mouth or the hand, and turn away, because attention feeds the next bite. If a tooth is coming, give them something else to chew, and if they hurt another child you apologise without a speech.

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Free · Toddler

The year they get loud and clever

Around 2 they may use two or three word sentences, and by 3 many manage three to five words and a short back and forth. Tantrums are still normal, they need you, and they also need to try the spoon themselves.

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